I've been living here at a dorm for young adults with Aspergers Syndrome for 3 months now and I've really come to like it here and gained a lot of new friends.

Although, it seems the slight feeling of good to come, might have only been something I was imagining all along.

Ever been in a crowd of people, you're talking and laughing with them, yet inside you just wanna cry 'cause you don't feel that you're really supposed to be there. That's how I've felt lately.

Not like anyone's been treating me bad, I love it here and the people are great. I just can't shake the feeling of "not fitting in".

All through my life I've always ended up losing all my friends and I suppose that's what I'm starting to fear now.

These past couple weeks I've had more and more bad days. With sudden outbursts of tears and depressives thoughts. These past 4 days I've been crying for no apparent reason and I hate myself for it.

There's so many people who have a much harder life than me, yet I hate mine so much when I have so much to be grateful for. I just can't seem to find the light in my ever so dark life.

Sure, there's been things that made me happy, but those things could never keep me happy. It always went away eventually.

15 minutes ago I was laughing and playing Warcraft with 4 others. Now I'm sitting in my room alone, crying and hating everything I've ever been and ever done.

No matter how happy I think I've become; how many pills I eat to dull the pain, it always comes creeping back into my life.