I seem to sleep worse and worse >_< I can't fall asleep at night no matter how tired I am. I wake up 29379364 times and it takes FOREVER to fall back to sleep! And I wake up WAY too early!

I know for a fact that I stop breathing when sleeping and it disturbs my sleep pattern, and it pisses me off >_< I've spoken to my doctor, but all she could say was "YOU'RE FAT!"

Thank you, that solved my insomnia... -_-

*punches self* SLEEP!

Ooh, Matrix Reloaded on tv in 7 minutes! Time to go watch with ze buddies and eat popzcornz XXDD

On a sidenote to ya'll: PLAY SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI IMAGINE ONLINE!!! best game ERVA!

I've been living here at a dorm for young adults with Aspergers Syndrome for 3 months now and I've really come to like it here and gained a lot of new friends.

Although, it seems the slight feeling of good to come, might have only been something I was imagining all along.

Ever been in a crowd of people, you're talking and laughing with them, yet inside you just wanna cry 'cause you don't feel that you're really supposed to be there. That's how I've felt lately.

Not like anyone's been treating me bad, I love it here and the people are great. I just can't shake the feeling of "not fitting in".

All through my life I've always ended up losing all my friends and I suppose that's what I'm starting to fear now.

These past couple weeks I've had more and more bad days. With sudden outbursts of tears and depressives thoughts. These past 4 days I've been crying for no apparent reason and I hate myself for it.

There's so many people who have a much harder life than me, yet I hate mine so much when I have so much to be grateful for. I just can't seem to find the light in my ever so dark life.

Sure, there's been things that made me happy, but those things could never keep me happy. It always went away eventually.

15 minutes ago I was laughing and playing Warcraft with 4 others. Now I'm sitting in my room alone, crying and hating everything I've ever been and ever done.

No matter how happy I think I've become; how many pills I eat to dull the pain, it always comes creeping back into my life.

I had this crazy dream last night and I'm almost sad it's never gonna happen

I seriously dreamt that Road Dogg was on the cover of playgirl magazine! O_O Like, shirtless and wearing unbuttoned jeans *fans self* and he was really hott! Kinda like he looked in 1999 *faints*

I'm such a perv rofl XXDD

On a side note, I don't know what I've done to my knee, but I woke up last week and my knee was hurting. And it hasn't stopped yet >_< I can walk, but it hurts like a bitch when I bend my knee.

I blame the bed here. I want my own bed and I can't afford to buy one DAMN YOU VILE BED!

Times of change has come along for me (FINALLY)! I've been offered to move to a college for people with Aspergers about 2 hours away from where I live, and I accepted.

I will be starting on February 1st.

So far, all I really want of classes, will be English and Japanese (which is actually available)

I have no idea how long I'll stay there. It's a 3 year thing, but if I find an apartment after one year, it is possible to move out and continue classes on a regular college.

It's basically just a way for me to get away from home and start a life of my own and become independent of others. And to get a social life aswell.

Laptop will be with me, so it's not the last you've seen of me, just thought I'd share the good (but horrificly terrifying) news XD

Also... 8 days left for Japan!

And damn, I have 8 days to pack my shit, 'cause I have 2 days when I get back from Japan before I'll leave for the college O_o I have too much crap to pack LOL

Yaay, thank you person whoever you were to report me for art theft and copyright infrigment. I get the Ginga recolors and Enzai wallpapers, sure... but... why, oh WHY did dA remove my Kip James website button and my Ginga teddy bears?!

The teddies were made from scratch in photoshop. Is it art theft or copyright infrigment to make fanart? O_o I don't see people's drawings of Naruto being removed.

And the Kip James button? Jesus Christ, it's the button for his official website WHICH I RUN! The picture I used for it was even sent to me from him! They did the same with the promo I made of him >_< they deleted it despite the fact that he was actually using it for autograph signings and merchandise.

They were REQUESTED from him! I'm pretty damn sure that qualifies as permission >_< good lord!


PS. 10 days left until I go to Japan ^_^