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About Me Member Lurker Kristina22/Female/Denmark Recent Activity Deviant for 3 Years
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Lonely

Fri May 22, 2009, 2:03 PM
  • Mood: Suffering
  • Listening to: The Kelly Family
I've been living here at a dorm for young adults with Aspergers Syndrome for 3 months now and I've really come to like it here and gained a lot of new friends.

Although, it seems the slight feeling of good to come, might have only been something I was imagining all along.

Ever been in a crowd of people, you're talking and laughing with them, yet inside you just wanna cry 'cause you don't feel that you're really supposed to be there. That's how I've felt lately.

Not like anyone's been treating me bad, I love it here and the people are great. I just can't shake the feeling of "not fitting in".

All through my life I've always ended up losing all my friends and I suppose that's what I'm starting to fear now.

These past couple weeks I've had more and more bad days. With sudden outbursts of tears and depressives thoughts. These past 4 days I've been crying for no apparent reason and I hate myself for it.

There's so many people who have a much harder life than me, yet I hate mine so much when I have so much to be grateful for. I just can't seem to find the light in my ever so dark life.

Sure, there's been things that made me happy, but those things could never keep me happy. It always went away eventually.

15 minutes ago I was laughing and playing Warcraft with 4 others. Now I'm sitting in my room alone, crying and hating everything I've ever been and ever done.

No matter how happy I think I've become; how many pills I eat to dull the pain, it always comes creeping back into my life.

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Denmark
  • Interests: Wrestling, Road Dogg, Yaoi, slash, Ginga, Naruto, horrormovies, World of Warcraft, writing, gfx
  • Favourite movie: Hellraiser
  • Favourite band or musician: Slipknot, Murderdolls, HIM, FDQFP13, Tokio Hotel, Kelly Family, Rammstein, Gackt, The GazettE
  • Favourite genre of music: Nu and Black Metal, Visual Kei, Heavy Metal
  • Favourite artist: Yoshihiro Takahashi
  • Favourite poet or writer: Anyone but me O_o
  • Favourite style of art: Anime
  • Operating System: Firefox
  • MP3 player of choice: iPod
  • Favourite game: World of Warcraft
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2
  • Favourite cartoon character: Kurojaki (GNG)
  • Personal Quote: Let them love you, let them hate you, but never let them ignore you!
  • Tools of the Trade: Photoshop and the brain

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Comments


I tagged you XD

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Hoping to join the sugar-rush-army
Hay howz you been?
I just finished collage an my mate is going to poole collage next year and he has to move-in with his awsome sister but it means he will be pretty far away and yesterday when he came over i was laughing and crying but the reason why i was laughing was because the pain felt horrible so he gave me a hug and said he will always come an visit me cause the bus ain't that far from my house so now i feel a bit better my my old emotional scars remain though.

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Scarlet moonlight love....
ok i have been on a date with the guy who loves me and we went on many rides he even held my hand on the one which rises up and he said "i know your scared of hights just hold my hand and you will be safe". and i blushed and when we left i had cotten candy all over my mouth and he kissed me and i fainted and when i woke up an hour later and the fireworks where launced into the sky and he was next to me and he said "keep warm" and as we took the bus back to my house he said see you tommorow and now my heart won't stop race-ing

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Scarlet moonlight love....
Aww, that's so cute ^_^ sounds really nice! :D

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Please ask for permission before using my art or GFX
i know and he came over again and we played smash bros brawl and later we whatched gun grave it was awsome

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Scarlet moonlight love....
haya how are you its been a while and i got some free time and i got some exiting news :P

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Scarlet moonlight love....
Oooh, what news? O_O *wants to know*

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Please ask for permission before using my art or GFX
Flagged as Spam
what up.
Hey, whats going on? 23/female.. come chat with me on this website CLICK HERE
Flagged as Spam
what up.
Hey, whats going on? 23/female.. come chat with me on this website CLICK HERE

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We are all born cold, wet, and hungry,....then things get worse.
i love your work!
and your music taste is awesome.
TH and The GazettE <3

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a mixture of creation and you.

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